10 Things I Did in Therapy to Heal from Childhood Trauma

Like most kids, my childhood contained plenty of normalities. I was isolated, sure. Depressed, absolutely. But I coped and enjoyed activities that other kids liked. I sped through Jerry Spinelli’s powerhouse YA tales and read Matt Christopher’s books on youth athleticism at the speed of light. I played with Star Wars Micro-Machines, diligently constructed Legos, and spun Hot Wheels cars around a floor mat that was decorated like a city.

Still, there was severe distress, terror, and trauma, mostly brought on by physical and psychological terrors.. By 13, I’d lost count of all the times I was struck on various parts of my body. Years of being berated eventually took a toll on my mental health. Ultimately, I felt no choice but to turn my pain inward. A vicious cycle of self-harm and school disruption ensued shortly thereafter. 

By the time I entered treatment, the trauma I endured at home had an obvious and long-lasting impact. I flinched any time someone entered my personal space. I withdrew into deep periods of isolation, daydreaming, and fantasizing about power and escape. I felt alone and weak, unable to take a firm stance. But in the end, I kept mostly quiet about the mistreatment I endured near a cul-de-sac in Frederick, Maryland..

Following my departure from home, I went one-on-one with some of the most brilliant mental health professionals in Maryland. But even then, progress, at best, was minimal and slow. Still, I began to realize the healing effects of therapy. I feel it’s best to provide details to encourage others to find support.

Not all therapists will recommend understanding the causes. But I drifted to the reasons for my feelings as I progressed through treatment. In the process, I uncovered patterns of thinking and behavior that explained my depression. For example, if I was stuck with anger, I realized blaming friends and family was a serious, mind-bending issue. If I expressed a need to self-isolate, I learned that self-limiting thoughts were a significant cause behind my unwanted solitude.. 

Understanding the “why’s” allowed me to reduce early education rumination. The more reasoning I discovered, the greater the potential I had for learning to cope, let go, and move forward. Trauma soon became a distant memory as I became emboldened with knowledge. The insight I acquired over the years came from deep personal analysis and reflection.

Much of my youth and early adulthood revolved around living with fear. I was adraid of social rejection. I feared being in public spaces. The idea of significant changes terrified me and caused me to withdraw. In therapy, I challenged my fears by considering the possibility that they were irrational and senseless. Over time, I drifted from comfort, established nurturing relationships, and learned to take bigger steps forward.

Breaking down my fears in therapy helped me feel a sense of relief and empowerment. For one, I saw my fears weren’t necessary, and I could live, think, and feel significantly better. Eventually, I began to heal from my tumultuous childhood because I began to believe I was capable of living much better. The effects of years of personal hardship decreased in intensity because I learned to confront and overcome my fears.

A substantial part of my early mental health problems were a result of continuous mistreatment. Consequently, I fixated on anger and thoughts of acting out to mitigate these experiences. This, I learned, was a serious mistake, so in therapy, I took steps to practice undivided forgiveness. I apologized to others and myself while allowing myself to understand that I had the right to progress. and try hard to be my best. 

In doing so, I embraced the sense of freedom that come from saying, “It’s okay.. I'll make it." One day I found that the more I succeeded with forgiveness, the more optimistic and pleasant I felt.. Hope helped me heal from trauma because it gave me the strength I needed to pursue good. Knowing I'm not holding onto resentment from years ago played a significant role in my ongoing recovery.

I spent plenty of time in therapy revealing the experiences that made me happy and content I talked about marching band frequently and discussed the times I cycled with my father. I shared details of family trips and even broke down and talked about fun holiday memories. I shared details of the gifts I received and the types of favorite foods I ate. These memories reshaped my views of my childhood and helped to reduce the effects of trauma I'd experienced. By recalling pleasant, uplifting memories, I understood that there were parts of my childhood that could bring a smile to my face,

It wasn’t until I was an adult that I realized much of my anger was caused by depression. But during my younger days, the issue was a prominent barrier that resulted in years of lost progress. Anger was a topic I introduced early in therapy and I revealed as many of the situations, thoughts, and people that caused the emotion. The more frequently I opened up about anger, the less tension and hostility I felt. The effects of trauma soon faded with time because I was slowly peeling away at the anger that made my life worse. Personally. no emotion makes me feel as powerless as being stuck on anger.

 Early in treatment, I was physically restrained and secluded for my own safety and well-being. Therapy was one of the few places where there was at no risk or hazard. In fact, it was there that I could maintain a sense of peace and comfort. I used my sessions to focus on calmness and serenity Instead of constantly having to feel active and diligent. Sometimes, in my sessions I could relax and be quiet and passive. 

By using therapy to stay calm, I could return to my room and get back to a a state of productivity and focus. I healed quickly because I spent more time feeling settled as opposed to feeling rattled or on edge. While therapy diidn't always yield immediate, high-impacting results, at the very least it was a place I could relax and heal from trauma. 

Change, like nothing else, is a difficult concept for young adults to understand. But in therapy, I soon pinpointed the areas in my life that required change. I focused on issues concerning the way I approached my day and challenges and barriers that contributed to my depression. Goals were what helped me find a new definition for change. 

I soon saw the idea as a pursuit I needed to embrace. I began to dismiss the notion that I could go through life thinking and feeling the same way I’d done before. Simply thinking about making changes helped me heal from trauma becauseno longer was I a weak individual who couldn’t achieve anything. Knowing I could improve helped me reduce the serious effects of the trauma I experienced when I was young.

On my darkest days, my dreams kept me from resorting to outright, unequivocable self-destruction. In therapy, I shared my dreams of living better, from establishing rewarding relationships to going places I’d never been, to achieving goals I never thought possible. I brought up my dreams often in therapy to heal from significantly harmful youth trauma. By focusing on how much better life could be, I could gradually begin to dismiss the pain of the past.

Early on, my experiences caused me to direct negativity back at myself. Looking back, there were plenty of sad things I would say. to myself. Yes, over time, these statements began to stick. But therapy helped me identify even the smallest of positive traits about my character, abilities, and personality. Gradually, I began  to like myself more. 

The more I practiced the exercise, the more I could focus on these strengths and traits and let go or change anything that was amiss. Trauma, over time, had less of an effect because I spent more time engaged with ideas that made me feel better about myself. Liking myself also helped me realize that I didn't deserve how I was treated. Understanding this truth put me on the path towards recovery from trauma.

Gratitude plays an enormously major role in treatment. To heal from trauma, I focused on what was going right, who was there for support, and what special gifts I had that made life worth living. My therapist helped me by offering suggestions, then, I did the rest of the work. I recited phrases and affirmations and did my gbest to stay positive.. 

Practicing gratitude helped reduce the effects of trauma by helping me see  there was plenty to life. The experiences I had in the past that were unfortunate didn’t necessarily make life unlivable like I'd thought. Knowing there were people, places, and medications there to help me succeed gradually began to open my eyes to the world of possibilities. And trauma, although painful, soon became a distant memory.

Trauma hurts, especially when you're young. But taking a great journey through therapy goes a long way towards healing from the effects. Healing is one of the most important steps in improving after feeling distressed. And no better place exists to heal from trauma than a therapist's comfortable office.

Kevin Brown writes on mental health, addiction, and self-improvement. He lives in Maryland and is doing his best to live well.